Baxter Black is inviting me to try out his bathtub.
He's lying in his vast Jacuzzi whirlpool tub, asking me to try it out for size. This tub's so big that it easily lets him stretch out his long, jean-clad legs.
Oh yes, we're still wearing clothes. And for the information of his wife, Cindy Lou, there's nothing funny going on.
This is just one of the ways ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥'s famous cowboy poet gets his kicks — by teasing a journalist until, eventually, she submits, kicks off her heels and gets in.
And this is no ordinary tub. Not only is it big enough for two (or even three or four if you're so inclined), but it also has a view to die for.
Black lives way out in the desert near Benson on "lots" of acres. So there's no need for frosted glass or high windows in the master bathroom, because the only eyes likely to be on Baxter and Cindy Lou as they soak are those belonging to passing wildlife.
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So the Blacks have gone to town and installed the bath, minus Jacuzzi sprays (because they don't like them), beside a large, low window that looks out across several ranges of mountains, including the Whetstones, the Huachucas and the Mules.
This view, with a foreground that dips and peaks to create Black's own private valley, is the kingpin of his home.
The vista is what drew him to move here in the first place, because it reminded him of the mountains he saw growing up in Las Cruces, N.M.
"There's a word in Spanish, querencia, which means the place in the pasture where horses stand. It's said to be where there's the memory of their mother, where the soul feels at home. This is my querencia. To me, it's just where everything is right for you," he says.
And so the approximately 3,000-square-foot house was designed to maximize the view. Its back patio stretches almost the length of the building, and this is where the Blacks usually end up at days' end. That's when they're not enjoying shots of tequila in the tub.
And if Black or one of his staff members gets caught short out on the ranch, there's even an outhouse situated with a view of those mountain ranges, too.
If you're not familiar with Black's work, it's what you might call gritty wit. That's to say he writes about cowboy life and farm animals (he used to be a veterinarian) with a comedy that's unapologetically raw and down-home.
And his adobe brick house, completed in 2001 by builder Randy Maddox, mirrors that style. It's Southwestern without any airs or flairs: lots of wood, saguaro ribs, Saltillo tile, homemade furniture and antique finds, such as Cindy Lou's collection of glass-fronted lawyers' bookcases.
Just like the owner, its contents tell stories. An old upright piano was rescued from a miners' club in Nevada and still has bullet holes in its side.
Bull and moose heads, and a mountain lion skin, decorate the walls, most of them Black's hunting trophies.
His studio engineer, Chris Gussa, has built some of Black's furniture out of wood and saguaro ribs. And ranch hand Francisco Lopez built a raised stone fireplace in the living room, as well as a long outside wall featuring rocks from the surrounding desert and from Black's travels to other states.
The home is built to accommodate his thriving company. There's a studio for him to record CDs and his popular radio commentaries. And his three employees work in an office, with its own kitchen, attached to the house.
The Blacks love to entertain. In his usual capricious style, Black once surprised listeners, assembled staffers and even his own wife when, during a fundraising campaign for ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥ radio station KUAZ, he promised to cook dinner for callers who donated $500. The result was that Cindy Lou catered for about 20 couples over the course of two evenings at the house.
The Blacks' basement, set up to accommodate guests, resembles a hospital ward. There are nine beds side by side, each draped in a quilt made by Cindy's family, and each with its own curtain and rail for privacy. And there's a bathroom with vanity and a separate toilet. (Black says he's learned not to put a toilet, mirror and sink in the same room, because female visitors simply hold everything up with their primping.)
Cindy Lou's sister, Tamara Hawkinson, a writer and interior designer who lives in Scottsdale, helped with the house's interior.
The kitchen, with pine cabinets, features a mesquite counter on the island and Mexican tiles elsewhere. And the Blacks' four bathrooms are bold, bright affairs with mosaic tile, ornate ceramic bowl sinks, punched tin mirror frames and spacious walk-in showers.
But leave it to Black to bring things back down to earth. In the basement bathroom, he proudly shows me two framed photographs sent to him by fans: a buffalo and a rhinoceros, uh, going to the bathroom.
» Resources
• Baxter Black's Coyote Cowboy Co. can be reached at 1-800-654-2550 or at .
• Randy Maddox is based in Pearce. His company, CRM Construction, can be reached at 1-520-826-3330.