I was in my second year at the University of ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥ when “M.A.S.H.†came to ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥. My boyfriend and I were really eager to see the film, but when I heard the theme song’s lyrics — “suicide is painless, it brings on many changes†— I wasn’t sure I could stay.
I think it was 1970. If so, it was eight years after my brother, Bobby, died by suicide, using our father’s unlocked gun. It was June 3, 1962. He was 13, and I was 11.
Being a suicide survivor has taught me that grief never really goes away. Depression kicks in, but I’ve managed it with the help of wonderful therapists and friends, my church family, and for the past eight years, my standard poodle, Ruby. They all have nurtured my resilience.
Every time I approach another June 3, I struggle with memories I wish I never had. But this year, I scheduled lunch and supper dates, and saw two fabulous movies, “RBG†and “Pope Francis.†Both lifted my spirits. (Thank you, Loft Cinema!)
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Then, on June 5, we learned of fashion designer Kate Spade’s suicide. And three days after that, the suicide of the renowned chef and writer Anthony Bourdain. That two people who were so successful, and so widely admired, would intentionally end their lives, is impossible to understand. We look for answers, but most often, there are none.
I appreciate the media coverage of the deaths of these two extraordinary people. The stories have been fact-filled but sensitive. And I think every article I’ve read has included information on how to get help if you or a loved one are depressed or suicidal.
John D’Anna, a journalist with the ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥ Republic, reminded me that publishing a person’s suicide used to be considered unethical.
“But times have changed for the better,†he said. “We need to discuss suicide and depression, and a lot of other things that make us uncomfortable.â€
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported last month that increasing numbers of high school students say they experience depression and thoughts of suicide. In 2017, 31 percent of students surveyed said they had such feelings, up from 28 percent in 2007. And nearly 14 percent of students surveyed said they had made a suicide plan.
Courtney Schuneman, a ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥ clinical psychologist who specializes in psychotherapy for children and adolescents, said she is seeing “a plethora†of teens who say they are dealing with depression, and in some cases, suicidal thoughts.
“Absolutely,†parents should talk to their child, if they suspect the child is depressed or suicidal, Dr. Schuneman said.
“There used to be a fear that talking about suicide could plant the idea in a child’s head,†she said. “But we now know that’s completely unfounded. And if parents can have an open conversation about depression with their kid, a lot of times that can serve as a prevention tool in the beginning.â€
She also recommends that parents work with a psychotherapist or other professional outside the family, if they feel their child is depressed. “And I’d do it immediately,†she said. “Don’t wait.â€
Years ago, when I was a reporter with the ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥, I was assigned to write about a high school student who attempted suicide but now would be graduating as senior class valedictorian. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this interview, but it turned out to be delightful. The student’s smile was contagious, and his focus was entirely on the future.
Later that day I went to visit my mother, to warn her that she would be seeing a story in the paper — written by me — about a student whose suicide attempt was not fatal, and after treatment could now embrace life and all its possibilities. Mom surprised me. “I think it’s wonderful that you’re writing this story,†she said. “Think of how this could help other families.â€
Jane Erikson, who covered medicine for the ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥, is a writer living in ÃÛèÖÖ±²¥.